Person A: Are there any good parties tonight?
Person B: There's a party but girls from other schools aren't coming.
Person A: What movie are we watching tonight?
However prestigious its medical programs may be, or perhaps due to it, the female populace at this institution resemble Bonobo monkeys. Instead of the normal 1~10 normal scale that is used to describe their physical beauty, Hopkins females go into a different ranking system called HIV (Hopkins Impared Vision) where the 1~10 scale lies somewhere around -7~3 on the normal scale. (Negative scales reflect the rating you'd give the person had you been ranking males)
Person A: I graduated from Hopkins and met my wife there
Person B: She must be butt fucking ugly
Person B: Johns Hopkins University.
Person A: Oh are you going to be a doctor?
Person B: No, I'm majoring in philosophy.