Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
dodane przez mandingoe listopad 07, 2005
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
dodane przez jeffro luty 25, 2003
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
dodane przez Michael............... marzec 23, 2006
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
dodane przez Nick listopad 10, 2002
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
dodane przez fetusboy wrzesień 16, 2005
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
dodane przez LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD marzec 16, 2003
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
dodane przez I have have seen the promise land kwiecień 14, 2003
Playing solo on one's organs.
dodane przez Anonymous marzec 09, 2003

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